Ok, summer's over. Time to get introspective on my career/life and motivate for Fall. A few years ago I read Susan Jeffers' Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway and was like, Yea! I got this. But years later I still have my two biggest fears - people finding out I'm an impostor ("I can't shoot!") and failure. Every shoot I go on, I think what if doesn't work out? What if I can't sort it and wind up looking dumb? What if these photos SUUUUCCK?
I'm sure the majority of us creatives have these thoughts racing through our heads at some point. The thing is, these fears aren't bad. I find it keeps you on your game and not complacent. The problem is when you don't acknowledge them, allowing your fear(s) to stop you from moving ahead.
It's been over a year since moving back to NYC from New Delhi. When we first came back I was feeling good. It had been two years since I stopped digi teching/assisting and in India I regularly shot for Vogue, GQ, Harper's Bazaar and had begun shooting for British GQ. My attitude was yeah, won't be THAT hard to transition to back NYC. Instead, what I heard from reps etc. was "You're work's a bit too Indian." That it needs to be more American, more NYC, more, I guess, white? Reality check with a big butt-kick.
After hearing that a few times and not getting immediate responses back from editors, I started to believe I SUUUUUCKED at photography. I stopped reaching out and showing my work. I was afraid of being the impostor photographer and totally falling flat on my face. The first half of being back in NYC actually did SUUUUCK because not showing work = no assignments.
Fast forward to now. I still think, whoa what the hell am I doing or what if so-and-so editor thinks it's crap. The difference is now I acknowledge those fears and keep moving on; allowing them to cripple me only a few months ago was terrible.
Whoa, therapy session! So chime in with your fears and we can commiserate together.
And the above quote is from HOW ONE ENTREPRENEUR FACED HIS BIGGEST FEARS--CLIENTS, NEW WORK, SCORPIONS!--AND FOUND HARD-FOUGHT SUCCESS